Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Truth Is...

...I don't want to win.

Last year, I started a weight loss group, Girls With Goals (aka, GG's). At the end of a 12-week program I had lost the most weight, with 132 pounds my lowest weigh-in. I was $250 richer, but it didn't matter because the money didn't last long (not when you're paying bills, anyway) and neither did the weight loss.

As most of you know, March was the start of our financial crunch, followed by 6 months of daily, intense cleaning to keep our house suitable for sale (everyone knows how much I HATE cleaning my house!), and my application and admission to graduate school, etc. I handled the stress well in most areas -- I still did my callings, made homemade meals, stayed on a tight budget, packed lunches, threw baby showers, organized play groups, and was almost mostly (ok, sometimes) nice to my family.

The only area that really gave was me. I had virtually NO time to take care of myself, even to sit down. It seemed that if I sat down for one second I would fall behind in one way or another and lose even more of my precious time. Did I have to eat myself into so much weight gain? No. But did I chose that over Plan B? Yes.

The result was humiliating. I gained back all the weight I had lost and more I am sure. I stopped caring after a while. It was like wearing a fat suit. Just having the courage to do regular things like attend church, go to the park, see my friends took more courage than I knew I even had. Still, just because I have it in me, doesn't mean I EVER want to do that again.

I know people think that because I gained the weight back so quickly that what I was doing to lose the weight was drastic. Quite the opposite actually. What I did AFTER I lost the weight was WAY more drastic than what I did to lose it. I was overeating every day and every night -- every time I opened my mouth I would binge. I was trying to feel happiness because my life was so stressful. And the saddest thing (that we all know) is that it didn't even work.

So what do I want out of this Throwdown? I want to lose weight, duh -- and keep it off. My starting weight, your starting weight, the date we officially start, it's all secondary to my goal to just lose the freakin' weight, for good this time. Our little friends from High School Musical said it well, We're All In This Together.

Who's kickin' who's butt is not as important as what our butts look like anyway.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Throwdown The Weight Contest

Ok, so I think I'm ready to make some changes to get what I want. And just for the record, here's what I want:

...to be healthy.

Yes, according to my BMI I am healthy, but what you don't know is that I binge, even at this weight, which is not good. I can eat entire large pizzas, half gallons of ice cream, whole loaves of bread, and other monstrosities -- sometimes all at once, sometimes in a few hours. Fortunately, I am blessed with an amazing metabolism and great genes (thanks, once again, mom and dad). Unfortunately, this makes my secret (and sadness) easier to hide. Basically, I have a healthy weight, with secrets that I no longer want to have.

...to be wealthy.

To help reach my first goal, I've enlisted the help of the Original Parker Sisters ~ Julie, Alisa, and Erin. They are so inspiring, each of them for different reasons. I created a Throwdown The Weight Contest where we are each going to lose 7% of our body weight (around 10 pounds). The first person to do this, and maintain it for two weeks (our Maintenance Clause), will get what's in our Weight Loss Pot. We've all contributed things like a $25 Outback Steakhouse gift card, $20 in movie bucks, a $25 gift card to Target or GAP, and a Amex card for a haircut or some other pampering. Sounds cool, huh?

...to be wise.

In the end, I want to be able to make good choices and overcome my scale phobia. At a healthy BMI, does the number really matter to me? I'm about to find out as I start my quest to be 130 (I'm really starting this time).

This week, I am actually going to count my caloric intake. Why? Because people should know these things, at least generally. I don't mean become obsessed, but it's a part of taking care of our bodies whether we admit it or not. To lessen the stress of counting all day, I've devised a scheme to trick myself into counting without an all-day worry.

My new plan is to keep each meal around 300 calories and the same for any snacking in between meals. All I have to do is calculate at each meal (instead of all day) and keep a rough estimate the two times I snack during the day -- usually between lunch and dinner and after dinner. If I skip a meal, I'll just keep on going like normal, instead of "making up" the calories later. This will help me with portion control and it will also keep me from juggling long lists of numbers in my head or on some paper I always lose and rarely have with me. Although it has been a long time since I've taken a math class (and Adam knows just how long, too!), I think I can still count to 300!

I may start blogging my daily menu, too. In part because I need to be accountable for it; and, in part because I think what I eat can be interesting sometimes. Maybe just for a week...I can do anything for a week, right?

As for exercise, I'm running, doing my Pilates once a week, and desperately trying to take a Zumba class at the YMCA I can never seem to get to. (Zumba is a Latin cardio/dance class). I try to do 5 days/week of running -- one long, one medium, and 2 short runs. I've been experimenting with my treadmill's incline a little (I'm trying to keep the bump I found on my back after a month of doing hills at my parent's house). This week may be the start of long runs outside because I've maxed out my treadmill limit, so that could be an adventure.

My stats are a little more than I wanted, but certainly what I deserve for not being serious -- although, it makes for a great Throwdown start for me :).

Current Weight: 149.8
Current BMI: 23.3

Throwdown Goal Loss (7%): 10.5
Throwdown Goal Weight: 139.3
Throwdown BMI: 21.7

So bring it on, ladies 'cause I'm about to throw you down, take your money, and run (if I still can after losing soooooooo much weight)! HEHE!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Pop On!

I'm not a Fat-Free-Sugar-Free-junkie for more than one reason. First, it's usually more expensive than the real stuff. Second, it's not good for you. Who wants to give their kids something they can't even pronounce, let alone an entire list of non-pronounceable things? If I wouldn't feed it to my toddler, I try not to buy it.

I say try because I have two things I keep for moments of desperation (usually at night) when I feel myself going over the edge of food control: diet soda and Jell-O. I hate that I use these things sometimes, but they sure have saved my butt (literally). I want to stop and I will someday...but probably not today. I don't want that junk clouding my kids' brains when they're trying to learn and grow, and I don't like having special Mommy Food. It's like doing fun things after your kids are in bed -- it's fine when they're younger, but the day they discover you ordering pizza, inviting friends over, and playing games after they're in bed it's all over.

While exploring my new Inspiration blog, I may have stumbled upon a healthy craving fix. It's not calorie-free (although nothing is really without consequences), but it is WAY better than diet soda or Jell-O. It's microwave popcorn!! No, I'm not talking about the stuff that comes chemically processed in a cellophane bag ~ I'm talking whole grain, all-natural, food storage popcorn!

I know there are many healthy ways to pop popcorn. I have a Whirly Pop and my mom had an air popper. But, if you know me, you know that I am an appliance minimalist. If I collected all the gadgets and gizmos As Seen On TV, where would I put the food!

Of course I immediately tried it out and...it worked! Since then I'm popping non-stop ~ really! Someone should probably stop me before my house overflows with popcorn! Can you tell how excited I am? Just look at how many exclamation points I have used in this post. I rarely use them and now they're all over the place!

Now, brace yourself. This is not the most delicious popcorn you have ever tasted (Brady's gooey caramel popcorn is the best, but you'd hate me if I posted that recipe!). BUT, it is healthy (my favorite), fast (the kids' favorite), and cheap (Brady's favorite) -- a real family pleaser!

So, here it is:

Put a few handfuls of popcorn in a brown lunch bag.
Fold it down a few times.
Place in microwave and...POP!

There are a few little things you can do, like season it or whatever. But, I'll let you figure that out as you explore THE BEST SNACK EVER!

Pop on, my friends. Pop on.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

How Do I Look?















Alisa reminded me about something I tried to do a while back. Now that we have a faster internet connection, I can finally post my pics. (Sorry the Before Pic is so bad. Genevieve's quick snap of me was my only clear head shot).

So, which should I be -- Cameron, Jessica, Olsen, or Paltrow?

Or, try it for yourself.

I Didn't Deserve It...PERIOD

Note: Contains discussion of feminine issues.

So, this past week did NOT go well. While I exercised, the only calories I counted were guesstimates and not recorded anywhere but my fuzzy head. Sunday's Ward Potluck, Monday's Family Home Evening Treats, and this morning's hangover eating didn't help much, either. Needless to say, my eating has been less than stellar.

To make matters worse, I started my pseudo-period on Sunday. After having a baby it usually takes about a year-and-a-half before I have a period and even then it's irregular and light for a while. Lucky, I know (except when I want to be pregnant). With Kelsey I worried all the time that I was pregnant, with Genevieve I worried less, and with Shelley I've been enjoying it entirely. I've probably had less than 20 cycles since getting married almost 11 years ago. It's a good thing, too, because I make a VERY cranky PMS-er. Still, it sure does make getting pregnant a whole lot easier ;)

While this explains the weekend cravings, it does not excuse them. AND, it lead to Monday Munching Madness and already Totally Terrible Tuesday. I've eaten everything in our house and have tried to lay Shelley down for a nap three times so I can exercise (or so I say), but to no avail.

I want to quit. I want to give in. Actually, it's too late -- I already have.

So, now what?

Well, I need to write down what I eat, at least for a while. I don't know if this will be a lifetime practice, but it is essential for me to reach my goals. I need to detox for the rest of today and tomorrow. Most importantly, I need to relax. If I have one good day of eating, I usually feel better. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this (instead of clicking my heels three times, I'm smacking my lips...where's Glinda when I need her?).

As for my weigh-in, I really didn't deserve the number. I waited until after I exercised because I just couldn't face the scale. After the feeding frenzy of yesterday and today, next week will be harsh without better eating the rest of the week. Anyway, here it is:

Current Weight: 148.0
Current BMI: 23.0


PS Sorry about the delay in posting ~ Brady did our taxes last night. Go Brady!

Friday, January 11, 2008

A Date With Ice Cream On Top

...and I'm not talking about the fruit! Brady and I went on a date tonight, which we haven't done in a while.

Now, when I say a while, I mean a few weeks before our vacation. I am one of those girls who likes to be taken out -- and regularly. It doesn't have to be expensive, it just has to happen. After I have a baby, there's a small window where we can't go out for a few months, so we counter this by stocking up at the end of my pregnancies. Once the baby is on a good nighttime schedule, we hit the town. I just love being with my husband in that way. I also enjoy the time to be Me - Kids. Me - Kids still = Me, just another side. I get to walk slower, think more, and EAT SLOWLY! Love it.

Tonight I was a little nervous about going out to dinner, so I persuaded Brady to just take me to a movie instead. I had been at the park all afternoon with friends and we even ate dinner there. We planned ahead and all brought food to share so when we went home it would just be get-ready-for-bed time. Aaaah.

I made some calzones with white/wheat dough, cottage cheese, mozzarella cheese, mushrooms, and olives (I'm still trying to use up the giant box of mushrooms I bought from Sam's Club this week, can you tell?). I love making fresh bread and I have a super easy recipe for pizza dough (thanks, April). Now that I have a Kitchen Aid, too, (thanks, Tara) this process is much easier and surprisingly still enjoyable. After years of hand mixing and kneading, my wrists were getting quite sore, but nothing could stop me from my sweet bread (Alisa, I have come a LONG way since our college Great Harvest Honey Whole Wheat experimentations).

The good news is, the calzones were great, especially dipped in my favorite chunky marinara. Even though Brady gripped a bit about the cottage cheese instead of ricotta, he still ate two and seemed satisfied. Maybe I'll try pureeing it next time to get a less chunky texture. The bad news, I think I ate 3. I say "think" because with so many nibbles, who really knows the exact amount.

So, when Brady mentioned dinner AND a movie (which usually means dessert, too) I was a little hesitant. He understood, so we skipped dinner and just went to see National Treasure 2. (If you've seen the first, you've seen the second. I do think the movie is well-made and entertaining, though).

And, no, I did not have movie popcorn. I am one of those people who smuggles food into the theater. I think I'd probably pay the ridiculous prices if they just had what I wanted -- 94% fat free popcorn. Instead, I pre-popped my own bag. I have no shame when it comes to health -- really, I don't.

After the movie, instead of Cold Stone (please refer to prior posts about my love for that stuff), we opted to share a large White Chocolate Mousse/Peanut Butter swirl cup at TCBY. The employee was so nice, even though we came in 15 minutes before close. He let me sample as much as I wanted, answered all my questions, showed me the nutrition information, and even weighed our ice cream on the electric scale. While licking it up, Brady and I spent about 10 minutes in the car looking up gram to ounce conversions on his Blackberry to calculate the exact amount of calories in our treat. Oh, the things you do without kids!

While I am not entirely happy with the day, it could have been much worse. I did not eat ALL the dough or the calzones; I brought my own popcorn to a movie; and, I shared a treat with my husband. What a guy!

Speaking of great guys, mine just got even better -- he agreed to run a 5k race with me in February!! I could not be more excited if I were given a new outfit from Banana (although I'd like to test that theory). Even more, my sister's gonna run it, too! I'm all for this one because she babysits my kids while she trains. Tonight, she ran 2 miles on my treadmill while babysitting during our date. And she wants to make this a regular thing...uh, sure!

Tomorrow, I am completing the unpacking process. Although I tried to resist accepting reality, my Vacation Continuation officially ended today when I cleaned the house. While I didn't get everything done, it was still a strong effort, definitely NOT vacation quality. So, tomorrow I'll unpack the girls' suitcases, put away three baskets of laundry, transfer all of Shelley's clothes to her new room, put away her 12-18 month clothes, bring out her 18-24 month bin, organize their new toys, go to a YMCA open house, drive Kelsey and a friend to another friend's house to go to the circus, stop at the church to grind some wheat, make four loaves of wheat bread for a pot luck, and I'll plan the combined Sharing Time/Singing Time activity for Sunday.

Yeah, vacation's definitely over.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Leftover Dinner Omelet

Disclaimer: I am NOT an experienced cook and I like to make things up. The combination can sometimes be disastrous and can definitely be improved. Suggestions are welcome.

For dinner last night we had potato buildups. I don't know if I made that word up or what, but they're basically potatoes with anything piled on top. Last night we used shredded sharp cheddar cheese, chopped green onions, and a bit of sour cream. When Brady came home he wasn't very hungry (late lunch out), so he just ate his carrots and grapes. This left two potatoes, shredded cheese, and chopped green onions unused.

Not wanting to waste food (a trait I sometimes wish I didn't have), I decided to use the leftovers to make a breakfast omelet. The result was cheap, fast, and tasty (my favorite combination), so I thought I'd share.

Leftover Dinner Omelet

1 cooked potato, diced
2 Tbsp. EVOO (thanks, Rachel Ray)
1/2 c. chopped mushrooms (not leftover, but sounded good)
7 egg whites
2 eggs
3 oz. sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1/4 c. chopped green onion

Heat oil medium-high. Add potato and mushrooms. Brown. Beat eggs and whites. Reduce heat to medium-low. Add eggs. Cover and cook until mostly done. Add cheese and green onion.

For hungry husbands (or for dinner!), add salsa, black beans, and sour cream and serve in a tortilla.

This morning, I wasn't as attentive as I should have been to the eggs and a slight crust formed on the bottom of the omelet from cooking the eggs at too high of temperature. I didn't mind because I cut and served the omelet like pizza. If you like it softer, cook it low and maybe stir the first minute or so.

Didn't even think to snap a pic. Sorry.

In other news, I tried a palates DVD this morning for some cross-training. I never do anything but run and when I do it's usually long and slow, so I am almost never sore. Let's just say I'll remember real quick what soreness feels like tomorrow! I couldn't even do half the moves and they certainly weren't pretty. Now, a Before Pic of that would be REALLY funny!

Or not.