When in doubt, quote the classic rock band, Pearl Jam.
All that I am...
1. A graduate school dropout. Yes, that's right. As of today I've officially terminated my enrollment in the Masters of Arts in Mental Health Counseling program. After a grueling semester, I realized that to take three more years of this was not in my, or my family's, best interest. I was okay with the workload, but not the stress load. The commitment weighed so heavily on me, I couldn't just shake it and relax. I know this may sound silly to some, but I no longer had the energy to make my kids' lunches and that REALLY bugged me. It was the little things I couldn't let go of.
After all that, I thought I'd feel a huge relief this morning. To my surprise, I'm REALLY sad. It was something I had started to dream about, and it bugs me that I couldn't get it together enough to continue. Sure other people (I'm not gonna name names, but his name starts with B- and ends in -rady) could have been a little more understanding, and I could have worked through my own issues as well, but I didn't see that happening in the next few months, and as much as they drive me crazy, I really do love my family.
So, I feel like a bit of a failure right now. But, for those of you who know me, I won't be down for long. I'm back to the things I missed the most -- momming, running, and shopping. And, thanks to Anna, my newest venture -- blogging.
2. A little fat. What a crazy year it's been. I went from big to small to the biggest I've ever been, and I didn't even have a baby this year! Earlier in the year I started a weight loss group called Girls with Goals, affectionately known as GG's, and was in the low 130's. At 5'7.25 I consider that pretty good (I used to be 5'7.75, but, thanks to a prayer for a taller husband, I'm shrinking!). It didn't last long, though, because the group ended, we put our house on the market, and I became obsessed with keeping our house in show condition. It was also the summer and I had all three girls (Kelsey 8, Genevieve 4, and Shelley 1) at home. It was a really rough summer, to say the least. Immediately after that, I started graduate school and it's been a whirlwind ever since. Hence, the fat.
3. Crazy. I don't think there's anything wrong with this one. My life certainly isn't dull.
All that I'll be...
1. I've always said that after I graduated I'd start scrapbooking. Well, I graduated from BYU last December and my time came and passed and it still didn't happen. While I think it's a lovely and enviable hobby, the draw just isn't there for me. First and foremost is probably the cost. (I think we can all admit it's gotten a little out of control). Secondly, I just don't have that kind of space. I mean, people devote entire rooms to it!
But, (and mine's a big one) this whole blogging things is ideal -- cost and space efficient. Perfect. I kept a journal growing up that most people will never see, which is probably a good thing considering how many different people I was going to marry. On a blog, you can not only share your journal with a crowd, but you get to peak at other people's, too. Cool.
So, here it is, my very own blog.
2. Skinny, again. Yup, I'm gonna whoop something big and make it small again. Starting next year (well, I can't start yet -- it's the holidays!!) I'll be counting calories and food journaling. I find that works well for me. I like mini goals so here goes: (1) be 155, (2) be in the 140's, (3) be in the 130's, (4) maintain 130-135. Secretly, I'd like to just be in the 120's for a minute or two, but I don't see myself realistically maintaining at that level.
As embarrassing as it is to admit my weight at this point, it is even more embarrassing to be fat and being accountable is a great way to stay motivated. I plan to weigh myself daily and blog my stats at least weekly. I may or may not include my food journal. That may just be too much for me. However, I've been toying with the idea of a photo log so I can see my progress and because I think blogs with pictures are cool. Me in a sports bra may not be so cool right now, but stay tuned boys and girls, it's gonna get hot in here!!
3. A running runner. Once as runner, always a runner -- just sometimes more (or less) of one. I like training for marathons (I've done 2 and trained for 4) because of the structure, goal, and variety. Besides, I can't get enough LSD!! I'll shoot for SLC in April (again), but after this year's last-minute cancellation, I'll be taking it one day at a time. December 17th starts the 18-week program, so I'll be reporting on that one, too.
4. Healthy. I wrote happy and then deleted it. I can't remember a time I was healthy and not happy, but I most certainly can be happy (if not just momentarily) and not healthy. Eating cookies makes me happy, but not healthy, so I'll take the latter.
Anyway, that's who I am and who I'll be (thanks, Eddie). My assessment session is complete. I hope you'll lurk around my blog and comment every now and then.