Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The Human World

...it's a mess! (Sebastian from The Little Mermaid)

Apparently, I am being welcomed into a new world I've never known. My sister-in-laws were surprised this week to see me in the Human World as I gained weight on the scale and struggled to re-gain control of my eating. What they don't know is I've been here all along, struggling with the rest of you.

Isn't it funny how we create these worlds for other people that seem to have everything, especially the things we don't?

I'm not overweight so surely I don't struggle with my weight, my body image, self-esteem, cravings, moodiness, impatience, and every other sign of The Fall. No, I float over that on my own little cloud.

One advantage to living far, far away from all your family is that you're like the Heirloom Fine China that gets taken out once a year (or less) ~ everyone talks about how lovely it is and feels special when they get to see it (okay, that may be an overstatement, but you get the point). When really, it's just another dish, with scratches and dents like the ones you use every day. People don't always recognize that, though, because they see them so little.

That's what I LOVE about this blog and My Food Journal. It will surely put to rest all the misconceptions about my life that are fabricated from being seen so rarely (this would also happen if more reunions were held in Florida ~ just a little more expensive :).

So, welcome me all you want. But, I've been here a while ladies ~ and I'm probably not going anywhere soon.

I Feel Like Crap

I was up .4 yesterday and 2.6 today. That's 3 pounds since Monday's weigh-in...

...and I feel like crap.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Food Is NOT My Life

So why was it taking up so much space in My Journal?

I'm still going to be accountable for what I eat and post my recipes, but just not here. Check out my new blog @ kariannsfoodjournal.blogspot.com, or just click here.

Now, on for the best news of all ~ I found a running buddy! I was up early this morning trying to muster the strength to run outside, when what do I hear...the pitter-patter of feet outside our study window (and going at a nice clip, I might add). It was a runner!! I hopped my shoes on and was out the door in 2 seconds flat!

She's someone I've known before (a former Dog Watcher) but she's recently lost 30 pounds by running and eating well. She runs 10-12 miles most days and makes me look much less like an amazon. While she's tiny (she's 5'1" and weighs 103 lbs), she's definitely got some kick ~ and she loves to talk! She runs from 5 -7am every morning and she's practically OCD about running ~ which makes her The Best Running Partner To Have!

I also saw Post-Surgery Girl, Sherry, from last year and had to explain my MIA status. Everyone agreed my life was a bit over the top for a while, but that it was good to have me back.

With My Food Journal in it's own space, it's nice to write about my real life again. It IS good to be back.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Food Journal: Day 13

WW Cinnamon Sugar Toast: 150
Oatmeal/Cream of Wheat: 100 (for dipping)

Plums: 80
Crouching Chicken Leftovers: 300 (was only supposed to be half)

Super Chili: 160
Spaghetti Squash: 150

Cookie/Icing Tastes: 150 (new recipe ~ I had to;)
Roasted Squash Seeds: 20

Martha Stewart Sugar Cookies: 300
Martha Stewart Royal Icing: 100
Valentine M&M's: 100 (peanut & plain)
Marshmallows: 50


I think my menu speaks for itself ~ it was NOT a good day. I'd like to say it all started with those Banana Muffins yesterday (thanks again, Erin), but I can't. It all started with me.

The good news: I discovered Spaghetti Squash. I have never had it before and I LOVE IT. The best part is everyone else does, too. I served it with Super Chili (fortified with my usuals ~ shredded carrots, spinach, onions, and bell peppers) for an extra yummy meal. Even the seeds tasted good after we roasted them!

So why did I overeat? Well, my day was a little wacky and I didn't get around to lunch until almost 2 and by that time I had to hurry to pick the girls up from school. When we got home (and after we played outside for a while), we cut and baked the Martha Stewart Sugar Cookies (with Whole Wheat, of course) for Family Home Evening tonight. We also waited for Brady to eat, so dinner was later than normal, and the food was just soooo good.

After I licked everyone's plate, it was time for FHE. We read the poem from The Friend, Who I Really Am, and talked about what characteristics we have inherited, how we are unique, and how we can share our uniqueness with others.

The lesson was short then we quickly practiced our Article of Faith Songs because the girls knew what was coming: cookie decorating. We each decorated some cookies with our unique style using mini and regular marshmallows, Valentine Peanut and Plain M&M's, and colored sugar sprinkles. We plan to share them tomorrow with our neighbors and teachers ~ and hopefully they make it out the door because I ate them up tonight, totally blowing any control I had. Blast the baked goods!

I HAVE GOT TO STOP! If I had overeaten some great vegetable that's one thing, but almost half my calories were from cookies! Ugh....ugh...UGH. At least they were whole wheat, right?

Tomorrow I WILL EAT WELL.

Throwdown STATS: Week 2

Current Weight: 142.8
Current BMI: 22.2

Throwdown Goal Loss (7%): 10.5
Throwdown Goal Weight: 139.3
Throwdown BMI: 21.7

Throwdown Pounds to Go: 3.5



Another week, another miracle!

Weighing more regularly (I can't quite remember every day yet), I see the little fluctuations and don't freak out as much. I no longer weigh myself after I run because I want to accept my true weight, and not just water loss. I'm really trying to overcome my scale phobia.

I've also had some great workouts this week. Thanks to Julie, I was inspired to rev up my pace on Saturday. I tend to coast through my workouts, so it was kinda fun to feel my heart beating a little faster. Zumba was fun, too, with my new sexy duds (which I still haven't returned to my sister).

My food was fun, too. Again, I let myself have the things I wanted, with moderation (except those blasted WW Banana Muffins) and tried to make healthy choices. I like 250 calories per meal because I can be more flexible. If I make good choices, it's also enough to satisfy me.

This week, I'd like to:

1 ~ Continue to avoid nibbling. I did better this week, but it will be a weakness to monitor for a long time to come.

2 ~ Keep the exercise momentum. I'd like to keep challenging myself a couple times a week, instead of coasting through all my workouts. It's more fun, and good for me, too.

3 ~ Be more accurate in my calorie counting. I've started to guess a little too much and not as much true counting (especially when I'm nibbling or picking off someone else's plate). While I do make educated guesses, I'm occasionally surprised when I actually calculate it.

Overall, good week. I was pleasantly surprised by the loss, but I know it won't last forever, so I'll take it!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Food Journal: Day 12

Apple: 80
Cheese Fondue Samples: 150

Veggies: 100
Dips: 250(Cheese Fondue, Hummus, Salsa)

WW Banana Muffins: 400 (thanks a lot, Erin)


It was Fast Sunday today, so I really wanted to skip my meals. As you can see, that didn't quite happen because I snacked more and overindulged in the meals I did eat.

For lunch, I made a HUGE platter of veggies (mushrooms, cucumbers, carrot, broccoli, and sweet peppers) and WW Bread Cubes that we dipped in Hummus, Cheese Fondue, and Brady's Salsa. It was fun putting together different combinations. My favorites were Sliced Cucumbers with Hummus and Salsa on top and Mushrooms stuffed with Salsa and drizzled with Cheese Fondue. Both have such great presentation they would make EXCELLENT hors d'oeuvres for any occasion. Genevieve made me so many I thought I was going to burst!

Still, the day was not lost. Later in the afternoon, the girls and I enjoyed making and eating Erin's Banana Muffins. We made minis and sprinkled Cinnamon-Sugar on top...mmmmm. Mine were especially sweet because I used 3 bananas and Granny Smith Applesauce. It didn't seem to matter that I used regular milk instead of buttermilk because we each had at least 4 muffins ~ and I had to freeze the rest...IMMEDIATELY!

I think this recipe was Erin's covert attempt to sabotage the Throwdown (and a successful one at that!). In retaliation, I may have to post my Coconut Brunch Bread recipe ~ as soon as I can move my Big Banana Bread Bum!

What I Think About

I was completely inspired by Becky's post about what she thinks about BEFORE she indulges. So, here are the places I try to go when I need help stopping...


...tomorrow's run. Eating junk before a run does NOT feel good. It makes me feel sluggish, no matter what I weigh. When I fuel up well, I run well. I love the feeling of my body when it does exactly what I tell it to, which means very little involuntary jiggle (in case it's been a while, I use my very vivid imagination).


...my girls.

Like most teenagers, I had acne. It wasn't the worst I've ever seen, but I struggled with it well into adulthood. So, when Kelsey was blessed as a baby, I asked Brady to mention her skin. We settled for blessing her organs (after all, your skin is an organ). I think Brady was hoping that would make her tall, too. We want to give our girls everything we had ~ and everything we didn't.

With food it's the same. I used to tell the girls "just one" and then overindulge myself. I've learned that Mommy-Sizing and Special Mommy Food can only last so long. If I want them to grow up making healthy decisions, respecting their bodies, then I better do more than tell them ~ I need to show them.


...being touched. There's a sense of pride when I'm tickled or someone brushes against me ~ and it doesn't jiggle.

Even more, it's when Brady touches me...and his hand curves in only the right places.


I have a sign on my refrigerator that reads: The chief cause of failure and unhappiness in this life is trading that which we want the very most in life for that which we want at the moment.

So, when I take the time to think before I eat, I usually ask myself, Is this what I really want?


Some days it works, some days it doesn't ~ but I always know it's there.